Fagnificent
So the story is, yesterday was anything but fun. I don't think I had a single fun moment yesterday. Not one.
One at a time.
I am never riding in a bus with the following people EVER again. Logan. Brenda. Terri. Connor. Sean. Veroncia (unless she's in an unenergized, mellow mood.)
I'm going to give it all I got for one more week, and if I still feel the same, I'm going to have to quit band.
I need to try to fix my iPod more right now, so I'll be right back.
[edit]
Back. I hate iPod. Anyways.
Band. Ah, what can I say. It's come to a point where it's so NOT fun that it's painful being in band because of what it's lacking. But it's also painful thinking about quitting band. Ark, the pain.
So economically speaking: opportunity cost of the possibility, the mere chance of getting something out of band (whether it be the band itself or the being with the people or the whatnot) has become too high. Basically, things have changed, I've changed, and I can't do it anymore. Maybe if things mellowed down. Too much crap has happened for me to be able to scream my troubles away to 99 bottles of beer on the wall. I am Cherry. I need deep conversations, emotional outlets, to know that my friends aren't just troublefree screaming people. Yes, I do know my friends aren't just troublefree screaming people, but from what I saw Friday... I could prove otherwise. And then Mr. Wolfe was just racking away. I haven't been able to stand him this entire year. Hah, on the bus ride back, I envisioned myself (as I was pressing my earphones against my years) going to Wolfe's 'office' and telling him that I'm quitting band 'cause I can't take it anymore. Ah, it was great.
And now, thinking back, it seems that I have to initiate all the "bus ride conversations." I mean, yes, I'm needy, but I'm not that desperate. I know they have more to offer to our friendship(s) but they're not willing to. Generally speaking. Or they don't care to and would rather escape and shout a lot, energized and all. Take, for example, my friend (we're going to call her Acinorev) with major trust issues. She doesn't like opening up. Well, I on the other hand am an extremely open person. But it's a one way road. I can't do one way roads. I need it to go both ways. That's how friendship works. It explains why we're falling apart.
So, why am I still in band if the reasons I were in band previously are no longer there.
Overanalyzation rocks my rocks.
One at a time.
I am never riding in a bus with the following people EVER again. Logan. Brenda. Terri. Connor. Sean. Veroncia (unless she's in an unenergized, mellow mood.)
I'm going to give it all I got for one more week, and if I still feel the same, I'm going to have to quit band.
I need to try to fix my iPod more right now, so I'll be right back.
[edit]
Back. I hate iPod. Anyways.
Band. Ah, what can I say. It's come to a point where it's so NOT fun that it's painful being in band because of what it's lacking. But it's also painful thinking about quitting band. Ark, the pain.
So economically speaking: opportunity cost of the possibility, the mere chance of getting something out of band (whether it be the band itself or the being with the people or the whatnot) has become too high. Basically, things have changed, I've changed, and I can't do it anymore. Maybe if things mellowed down. Too much crap has happened for me to be able to scream my troubles away to 99 bottles of beer on the wall. I am Cherry. I need deep conversations, emotional outlets, to know that my friends aren't just troublefree screaming people. Yes, I do know my friends aren't just troublefree screaming people, but from what I saw Friday... I could prove otherwise. And then Mr. Wolfe was just racking away. I haven't been able to stand him this entire year. Hah, on the bus ride back, I envisioned myself (as I was pressing my earphones against my years) going to Wolfe's 'office' and telling him that I'm quitting band 'cause I can't take it anymore. Ah, it was great.
And now, thinking back, it seems that I have to initiate all the "bus ride conversations." I mean, yes, I'm needy, but I'm not that desperate. I know they have more to offer to our friendship(s) but they're not willing to. Generally speaking. Or they don't care to and would rather escape and shout a lot, energized and all. Take, for example, my friend (we're going to call her Acinorev) with major trust issues. She doesn't like opening up. Well, I on the other hand am an extremely open person. But it's a one way road. I can't do one way roads. I need it to go both ways. That's how friendship works. It explains why we're falling apart.
So, why am I still in band if the reasons I were in band previously are no longer there.
Overanalyzation rocks my rocks.
posted by cherbearberry at 6:46 PM
1 Comments:
i love you cherry!
even though i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about except for the part where you're talking about wanting to quit band so i won't even pretend to know and sympathize!
don't quit band!!!!!!
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